If there is one common thread running through the mindset of today's Thai single women, it's their option to have a free hand at leading a lifestyle with no strings attached.
For them, what counts is a chance to explore what life has to offer from interesting careers, pursuit of higher education to travel and hobbies. In short, living life to the fullest.
While many urban women opt to stay with their parents, there are an equally large number that live alone or with roommates. There is no mistaking _ more and more middle-class women are delaying marriage and eventually choose to remain single.
Deputy Director of the Town Planning Department Amornrat Krittayanuwat, 58, is one of them. "Being single has become much less a taboo in today's society," says Amornrat who good-humouredly describes herself as a "happy spinster".
‘‘I never considered marriage simply because I nevercame across amanI really wanted to spendmylife with. Education and a promising career path have always taken precedence forme
AMORNRATKRITTAYANUWAT
Deputy Director,
Town Planning Department
"I never considered marriage simply because I never came across a man I really wanted to spend my life with. Education and a promising career path have always taken precedence for me. I am fortunate to have had a warm and loving childhood with exemplary parents.
"However, like all concerned parents they would have preferred for me to have settled down and have a life partner. Being single enables me to make decisions independently.
"The downside is that I am very much a homemaker _ I love cooking, interior designing and gardening. I enjoy dressing up and I'm fond of children. Still I don't regret being single because I also derive a lot of personal pleasure from working. If I was married, I wouldn't be able to dedicate my life to my career. I can't see myself juggling family and vocation efficiently. Not all women can multi-task and actually be emotionally happy."
Amornrat's decision to remain single was also greatly influenced by the widespread practice of infidelity and spousal abuse by Thai men. Watching her friends and colleagues suffer from being in relationships with philandering partners made it easier for her to concentrate on her career.
The phenomenon of Thai women deciding to stay single is a gradual process that has gained momentum from the 1960s, says demographer Bhassorn Limanonda, former dean of Chulalongkorn University's College of Population Studies.
Better education and financial and economic stability have all contributed to this social change. Bhassorn, who completed a study on ''nuptiality and attitudes toward marriage among women in modern Thai society'' two years ago, notes that the two key factors in a woman's decision to remain unmarried are higher education and less pressure from society to get married.
From her findings, parents in Bangkok seem less insistent on getting their daughters married, while education takes precedence. Another paramount element that directs a woman to hold on to her single status is the obvious issue of not being able to find a suitable partner, she notes.
While some are satisfied with living alone, others are open to cohabiting, which offers them an opportunity to not have to commit to a marriage set-up.
''From my study, social and economic independence makes this type of choice of lifestyle more viable,'' said Bhassorn, who is single herself. ''Equipped with better education, women prefer to focus on their careers and their chances to travel the world. Young working women nowadays opt to spend longer hours at the workplace, often returning home late.
''This hectic lifestyle gives them less chance of finding a life partner. An increasing number of women are seeking the freedom to pursue their careers and indulge in hobbies to unwind from work, so the pressure for matrimony doesn't become a priority.''
Studies show that the average age of women marrying in Bangkok is now 28, but the figure continues to grow higher as they have more alternatives to fall back on, says Bhassorn.
‘‘Equipped with better education, womenprefer to focus on their careers and their chances to travel the world. Young [single] working womennowadays opt to spend longer hours at the workplace
BHASSORNLIMANONDA
Ten percent of the segment of women that were surveyed in the 20 to 34 age bracket in 2000 remain single, she added. However, these statistics may not give the actual picture, she emphasises, because there is a high probability that a percentage of the women that were surveyed could have been cohabiting at the time but ticked ''single'' in the marital status box because they are not officially married.
As fewer women decide to get married while urban families prefer to have no more than one or two children, the government should be prepared for a shortage of young people in the labour force in the near future, she notes.
''I would like to urge the government to focus its attention on upgrading our education system. As we will have a fewer number of people in the workforce, it will be pivotal to have them well equipped intellectually.''
While singlehood offers single women a wealth of opportunities for self-realisation, the perks became a huge challenge when old age sets in.
''There is a dearth of government plans for them to fall back on post-retirement. The old people's homes that we currently have are mostly substandard, often not addressing the needs of middle-class retired single women, who are often highly independent and enjoy an active life and travelling,'' notes Amornrat.
Meanwhile, single women from lower social strata should be offered special medical welfare and housing when they reach retirement age because they have no family to support them and no financial backing.
With shabby state welfare for the elderly, Amornrat encourages women to open a special savings account for a rainy day as soon as they start earning. ''In these gloomy economic times, it is better not to depend on others, and focus on being financially independent,'' she adds.
She apportions her income into four in the following order: money allotted to cover immediate expenses; unexpected expenses; regular savings account; and the remainder for splurging on anything that makes her happy.
Financial stability can go a long way after one retires. ''As a person who has prepared well for retirement, I would say I am willing to pay good money for accommodation which would meet my needs for peace and quiet and opportunities to travel.
''For starters, I believe property developers should start thinking of building high-end retirement homes for [single] elderly women, who have sufficient savings to have a good life after the age of 60. Currently, women in my age bracket and women from my same background often reside with their families or live alone.''
Amornrat suggests that agencies related to medical health and welfare should begin training young adults who are interested in becoming paid companions for women retirees. These young adults should have a heart for service. They should be ready to accompany them on trips to the hospital or a sojourn to the provinces for leisure.
As Thailand becomes grey, the needs of elderly women offer many business opportunities to be tapped, she says. But the government must also be pressured to provide them better welfare support.
''Career-oriented single women often take fewer holidays and frequently work longer hours than their married counterparts,'' she says.
''The government and relevant agencies should then pay special attention to this growing segment of Thai society which has helped strengthen the economy.''
