A 3-minute video clip from a famous 1980’s US comedy provides one of the best examples of the use of conditionals for imagined situations that you can find anywhere – easy and very funny.

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Would you marry again?

This is one of the best conversations using unreal conditionals about an imagine situation that you will find anywhere. It’s easy to understand and, best of all, it is very funny. It should be. It comes from a very popular 1980’s comedy (funny) show.

I suggest you first watch and enjoy the clip. There is a transcript (text) but you probably won’t use it. Than go back and look closely at the language, particular the expressions using “would”. If you watch two or three more times, you should be ready to use such expressions yourself.

Claire: And Cliff I just want you to know if I die, you have my permission to marry again
Cliff: I have your permission?
Claire: Yes.
Cliff: But you're dead
Claire: I want you to find a woman who can make you happy and help take care of the kids.
Cliff: Thank you.
Claire: Would you?
Cliff: Would I what?
Claire: If I died, would you marry again?
Cliff: We'll talk about it when it happens.
Claire: We can't talk about it then!
Cliff: Okay, no. The answer is no. I wouldn't.
Claire: Under no circumstances, if I die, would you marry again. You would be single forever?
Cliff: Yes.
Claire: Would you date somebody?
Cliff: No. I wouldn't.
Claire: Okay, because I'm dead. I'm gone.
Cliff: And you're still in the bed with me?
Claire: What if you met a gorgeous international type beauty?
Cliff: Not interested.
Claire: What if you met a woman who could sing jazz?
Cliff: Like Lena Horne?
Claire: And can scat?
Cliff: Like Ella Fitzgerald?
Claire: You said it.
Cliff: Not my type.
Claire: What is your type?
Cliff: You.
Claire: OK, so you met me.
Cliff: You're dead.
Claire: But there's somebody out there just like me.
Cliff: You're dead?
Claire: Gone
Cliff: OK, now, You're not coming back, are you?
Claire: Come on, Cliff be serious.
Cliff:I'm serious. You're not coming back?
Claire: I'm not coming back.
Cliff:So you're dead?
Claire: I'm dead.
Cliff:And then I bump into this woman and she looks exactly like you?
Claire: Exactly.
Cliff: And you're dead? Aw boy. OK, so then what I would do is I would call her up and I would ask her if she would go out on a date with me and then I would court her and I would send her flowers and I would call her and I would introduce her to the children and then I would marry her and bring her in here.
Claire: Would you keep my picture up?
Cliff: Well, Gee I don't have to keep you picture up because she looks exactly like you.
Claire: Good night Cliff. You need some sleep.

permission – allowing someone to do something การอนุญาต,การอนุมัติ,การยินยอม
under no circumstances – never; in no situation
gorgeous – very beautiful and attractive โอ่อ่า, หรูหรา, สง่างาม
scat – a kind of jazz singing without using real works or using nonsense syllables.
bump into – to meet someone accidentally
court – to spend time with a woman and try to make her love you, so that you can get married จีบ

To further understand conditionals, read the chapter in Understanding English verb forms: Understanding conditionals

You can find a full description of Understanding English verb forms here:

http://www.bangkokpost.com/learning/books/196206/understanding-english-verb-forms

You can buy the book online here:

http://www.se-ed.com/eshop/Products/Detail.aspx?No=9786167061030&CategoryId=482

http://www.chulabook.com/description.asp?barcode=9786167061030