The course of Linor Abargil's life has been shaped by two extremes -- she was raped at knifepoint at 18 and six weeks later she was crowned Miss World 1998. Her story of survival and how she got her rapist a 16-year sentence in jail has turned Abargil into a household shero in her homeland Israel, as well as a globe-trotting advocate fighting against sexual violence. The 35-year-old has spoken about it extensively, probably over a hundred times all over the world in various centres and interviews -- not that it becomes any easier each time.
"Oh no, it's not easy for me today to talk about it," she asserts over the phone from Tel Aviv. "But I get so much back when I do. I see how much it helps so many people around the world, so this is why I wanted to do the film from the start. I did it because I wanted people to behave like I did. What I did -- it saved my life and I want it to save others."
It did, both physically and mentally, for Abargil. After being crowned Miss Israel in 1998, a promising modelling career in Italy followed. But when she became homesick and wanted to return to Israel, she had no idea that her Israeli travel agent, Uri Schlomo Nur, would lead her to the darkest moments of her life. Lying that plane tickets weren't available and offering to drive her to the train station instead, young Abargil trustingly agreed and fell asleep in the car -- only to wake up to be brutally raped and stabbed in a secluded area outside of Milan.
Nur had her tied up and was about to kill her, but in a moment of clarity that might be hard to summon during such moments of horror, the beauty queen had the quick wit to assure him that she wouldn't tell anyone about what he did and that it would just be a one-night stand. After he dropped her off at the train station so she could return to Israel, the first unwavering instinct was to call her mother -- who besides telling her to report the crime and not to take a shower until she got checked by the doctors -- "didn't even ask one question, she just wanted to know that I was fine and would be back home safe", Abargil recalls.
In the documentary/biography Brave Miss World, presented by the Embassy of Israel for the International Film Festival on Ending Violence against Women and Girls which will begin at CentralWorld tomorrow, we don't only witness Abargil's journey but also how people around her -- her family and those involved in getting Nur convicted -- have coped with or contributed to her case.
We're also given visits to other rape survivors, from Hollywood luminaries, be it Joan Collins and Fran Drescher, college students in the US to young teens living in what is coined the rape capital of the world -- Johannesburg. According to the film, South Africa harbours alarming statistics, one being that girls are more likely to get raped than get an education.
This Emmy-nominated film dissects the after-effects of rape through a revisiting of old wounds 10 years later. However, right after the incident, Abargil threw herself into the Miss World pageant hosted in the Seychelles in an attempt to leave her dark past behind.
Thinking it would "go away by itself", it was only three months later that she went into therapy -- which became one of the major steps that helped her heal. Today, she realises that talking is the most crucial thing to do.
"I think from every hard thing you go through, the best thing first of all is to talk," she says. "Because then you take it out of your system and it doesn't control you from the inside. When you know it's only an experience and it doesn't make you who you are, you can move on. If you don't, it's like a tumour that becomes a disease. But of course, talk to the right people that will give you support, love and help."
Over the five years of shooting and producing the film, Abargil had to go through the difficult task of hearing the most horrible stories from other survivors and to understand what it really meant, when people referred to her as being rare.
"I didn't realise how right they were -- nobody speaks at all and women hate themselves and become victims for the rest of their lives. They're taught to hate themselves and that if something like this happens to them, it's their fault. I don't believe in that. I don't think anyone can do anything like this to you ever and if he does, he needs to pay for that. If he's your husband, kick him away."
More fighter than victim, it becomes apparent that her admirable crusade to end the silence against rape has been shaped by the loving and supportive family she is blessed to come from. Now also a lawyer after earning her degree in criminal law and a mother of three, Abargil will not shy away from letting her children hear her story.
"I think the best way is not just to pray for them," she contemplates over the speakerphone while she drives to pick up her twins from kindergarten. "Like I did, I want them to know how I could always come to the people that love me the most and that they will never judge or criticise me. If I know my kids tell me everything, for me that's a lot."
You can hear it in her confident voice as she speaks and if anything, this is one beauty queen who really is out to change the world. It is comforting, but more so, empowering to hear how she has emerged, how she is completely at peace with it and how she has let her life go on, happily.
"I dunno -- bad things happen and this is what happened to me," she says without a hint of self-pity. "I really believe it happened for a good reason. As funny as it seems, I think it made me a much stronger and happier person. It's weird, but when you're 18 and you've almost lost your life, it makes you really appreciate what you have and to take nothing for granted. I feel that I got a gift in a way with what I'm doing and I want to give back what I've learned to others, so they know there can be another way."
Linor Abargil with teen survivors in Soweto, South Africa.
Following the truth
Brave Miss World's director Cecilia Peck is not only the daughter of Hollywood legend Gregory Peck, but an accomplished actress, producer and director in her own right. Her LA-based company, Rocket Girl Productions, produces independent feature films and documentaries and the director herself is drawn to stories of people who stand up for what they believe in. Life asks the Princeton graduate about her latest documentary which will see its worldwide digital release on Dec 8.
Linor's story is a compelling one to tell, but does the topic of rape mean anything to you personally?
I think it means something to all of us personally. There's no one who doesn't have a friend, mother, daughter, sister, or brother who hasn't been raped. I attended an Ivy League University where it existed and things haven't changed. There is the beginning of a shift in awareness on college campuses, but not nearly enough. Rape touches all of us.
Rape is not a light subject. How did you deal with it?
Making the film and recording the testimonies of so many survivors, as well as bearing witness to the trauma that Linor experienced from delving into her own past, was very difficult on all of us who worked on Brave Miss World. But we were very motivated, like Linor, by the belief that the film had the potential to reach survivors all over the world and make them feel less alone and to help them heal.
Did you anticipate that this would be a difficult and challenging project?
Linor seemed very empowered and ready to reach out and make a difference. So we didn't anticipate the ups and downs that she would go through, or the general backlash against speaking out about rape. Brave Miss World has been part of raising the level of conversation about rape and sexual assault. But it's not a conversation that people like to have. Linor's positive message and belief that you can heal, as long as you don't blame yourself and don't stay silent, has been our guiding principle.
After hearing all these stories of rape from all sorts of people who were involved, what would you like to advise or say to the general public?
The film urges women to find a trusted friend, family member, or helpline, and not to stay silent. And it's also a guidebook for anyone who's a friend or family member to a survivor. We asked one survivor what words she hoped to hear when she first told someone and she said the right words are: I believe you, it wasn't your fault, and I'm going to help you.
Did things go according to plan during production?
In cinéma vérité, you find a subject or a central character and commit to following their story. You try not to have an agenda. You naturally have expectations, but you hope to be surprised. In the case of Brave Miss World, we could never have imagined the turn that Linor would take, when reaching out to other survivors and triggering her own trauma became unmanageable. But her response, although very unusual, is universal in that each survivor has their own path to healing and it might look very different than what you thought.
What was the most valuable thing you've learned from directing this documentary?
That you have to persevere and give your utmost no matter how great the obstacles, if you want to do work that's meaningful and impactful. The example Linor set, of her willingness to dredge up the most painful part of her life in order to be of help to others, when it would have been so much easier to stay silent, will always be a touchstone for me.
What was your most favourite scene in the film?
The moment in the Teddy Bear Clinic in South Africa, when Linor reaches out her arms to the young girls who had survived rape and draws them up into an embrace, which you can feel is changing their lives, and hers.
- Brave Miss World will screen at CentralWorld on Nov 29 at 7.30pm. The screening is free of charge. For the complete line-up of films from the International Film Festival on Ending Violence against Women and Girls on Nov 26-29, visit asiapacific.unwomen.org/evawgfilmfest.
- To share your story or connect with other survivors of rape, visit www.bravemissworld.com.
Cecilia Peck.
