Speaking haltingly, as tears continued falling from her reddened eyes, Watcharin Nuansai says it would have been better had she died with her husband and young son and not survived alone.
Ms Watcharin, 34, is the mother of two-year-old toddler Jakarin "Title" Hiangma who was killed along with five other people after four militants sprayed bullets into a grocery shop in Pattani on Wednesday night.
Her husband Saman Hiangma, 38, was among the five adults slain in the shooting.
The couple owned the grocery shop in tambon Rusamelae, in Muang district. They had run it for six years.
Ms Watcharin escaped from the bullets because she went into the house to take a bath.
Watcharin Nuansai, 34, faints after learning her husband and two-year-old son were killed in a shooting attack on their grocery shop in Pattani on Wednesday. (AFP photo)
"I heard gunshots so I rushed out. I saw a lot of smoke so I went back into the bathroom," Ms Watcharin said. "Security authorities arrived soon after and took me to the back of the house. Later, I went to the hospital. I haven't seen their bodies."
The six people who were killed were sitting at a stone table in front of the shophouse, Ms Watcharin said.
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The young Title was very attached to his father who had just come back from working on a fishing boat for two months to supplement the family's income.
"He was always with him, everywhere," Ms Watcharin, still choking back tears, said.
"Title was a fast-learning boy. He could memorise products in the shop. He could correctly fetch things that customers asked for. He memorised the Thai alphabet. I was about to find a school for him.
"It would have been better to die along with them than to sit here in the house, to see all their stuff and to think of the two of them so often."
Witnesses said the assailants walked into the shop and shot each victim in the head, one by one, including the toddler.
"How could anyone do that to a two-year-old?" Ms Watcharin said. She said her husband was willing to do anything to raise the family. They both worked hard to pay for the shop's rent and the baby's food.
"I have no idea what to do now that he is gone," said Ms Watcharin, whose parents are her only remaining immediate family members.
Her mother, Samrit Nuansai, said she did not expect her family to become victims of the southern violence as their rented shop was located in a town area, and it was only 200 metres from a security checkpoint.
Ms Samrit, who is from the northeastern province of Buri Ram, said she and her daughter will probably move out of Pattani.
Ms Watcharin, who has lived in Pattani since her childhood, said that she will relocate to Buri Ram as soon as the funerals are over.
She expects to hold a cremation for her late husband and toddler son on Monday.
"My husband yearned to move to Buri Ram. We always discussed the possibility but the problem was we didn't have any savings," Ms Watcharin said. "We had so little income that it was enough to provide for us for a day or two. I was afraid we wouldn't have enough to eat if we moved.
"But now that I lost both my husband and son, I don't have anything to live for here. I would rather move than die."