Out in the South

Mo was born and raised in an isolated Muslim village not far from Pattani city in the South.

Her birth gender, religion, culture and society designate and define Mo as male, but Mo thinks otherwise.

Regardless, during the holy month of Ramadan, Mo conforms to those expectations, even if it means betraying her own feelings and what she is sure is her true identity.

The beautiful long shiny hair which Mo is so proud of is tied into a tight knot before she hides it underneath a taqiyah, the short round cap worn by Muslim men. Her colourful feminine clothes are put back in the closet and exchanged for more sober male attire. Her accessories and make-up are removed and hidden inside a box. Mo goes from living as a woman to living as a man during the month of Ramadan in order to properly observe the religious practice.

"It is difficult and I am going through a lot, but I won't disrespect my religion and I am willing to follow the tradition even though it is against my feelings," Mo said.

"I already am a sinner for being transgender, the least I can do is to follow the practices strictly.

"It's a 'man's world' here. Even women struggle with their rights. Forget about us, we basically have no rights here."

Racked by a long-running separatist insurgency, the southern provinces of Pattani, Yala and Narathiwat are difficult areas for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people to find equality, due to religious constraints.

While Islamic teachings accept the existence of LGBT people, it is deemed something they must overcome and therefore they need to be set on the "right path".

Four years ago, an LGBT workshop was staged in Yala by local health authorities and activist groups to promote understanding. But health workers said it was a failure due to people's unwillingness to talk about their sexuality because of religious limitations.

However, over the past three years activist and academic Anticha Sangchai has organised dozens of workshops and seminars to try and change southerners' attitudes to LGBT people.

"I hope I can slowly adjust the understanding and knowledge of people in the area to learn more about sexual diversity issues," Ms Anthicha said.

LIFTING THE VEIL

To an outsider, Da and Sa, both aged 21, might seem like best friends. The two young women were both born into strict Muslim families and go everywhere and do everything together.

They attend the same university and live at the same dormitory off-campus. But behind closed doors the two girls are allowed to be themselves. Da and Sa are in love and the only time they are allowed to safely show physical affection to each other is in private.

Da appears more masculine than her partner. She wears a dark-coloured hijab to reflect her personality. She covers her whole body from top to toe: with a hijab, a long-sleeve shirt and long pants, as a good Muslim woman is expected to do. She comes from Pattani but is studying in Yala where she can live with more freedom.

Sa, originally from Songkhla, has a delicate and feminine appearance. She wears a light-coloured hijab and also covers her body with beautiful clothes. She is in her final year of college and is now getting ready to leave the deep South to work in Phuket where she hopes more liberal attitudes will let her do what she wants.

"Sometimes we walk hand-in-hand in public but some random men in town get upset about it," said Sa. "They sometimes warn us that it is sinful to get too close to each other."

Da said lesbians in Yala were being monitored on the streets and then exposed on social media.

"We always see on Facebook that people are secretly taking pictures of Muslim girls holding hands in public and condemning them," she said.

"We don't want our pictures taken and don't want to be taken advantage of like that."

Da has taken Sa to visit her family many times and introduced her as a friend. Both say their parents sense they are a couple, but don't want to say anything about it, believing it is something they will grow out of.

"My parents told me that being a lesbian is wrong and very sinful," Da said.

"They said I should snap out of it and marry a man. I say nothing back. I know one day an arranged marriage might happen. That's why I try to stay as far away from home as possible."

'I AM A SINNER'

Daily harassment does not stop Mo from expressing herself. Mo, 34, was born and raised in Pattani. She lives in a small village where everyone in the community knows each other very well.

The youngest of five children, she started acting out when she was young.

"Do you know that it is a sin to be like this?" her father asked her once. But she doesn't care and continues to be herself. To make up for the sin that she believes she has committed, Mo has vowed she will take care of her parents for the rest of her life.

Despite her family and others in the neighbourhood not accepting her gender preference, they tolerate her decision. Her gender and appearance is fluid -- in addition to dressing in men's clothes during Ramadan, she does not wear a hijab when dressing in women's clothes as, in this respect, she still identifies as a male.

"I am used to the way people look at me but I can never get used to the verbal harassment and even physical harassment from Muslim men who think I am a joke," Mo explained.

"Sometimes they grab my breasts or touch my private parts. I guess this is what I get for being a sinner."

Mo's life may not be perfect but she is more than happy with her identity and has an understanding family that supports her. She is happy to wear men's clothes during Ramadan and Muslim New Year.

"I have many transgender friends in Narathiwat," she said.

"Many transgenders live there as they are more accepted socially than where I am.

"Many also get good jobs in Malaysia where they are accepted for who they are.

"Leaving the area is possible but leaving the religion is impossible as that is considered the worst sin one can commit."

But a man dressing as a woman is considered something that needs to be "treated", according to Othman Ratniyom, a professor at the College of Islamic Studies, Prince of Songkla University in Pattani.

"We [Muslims] believe that hormones are the cause of gender identity disorder," he said. "Therefore, it can be cured.

"Parents are responsible for adjusting their children's behaviour. They have to correct them to go back to their birth gender."

He told Spectrum the most common approach to cure the "disorder" was forced marriages.

"I have a male friend who was wearing make-up and dressed as a woman sometimes," he said.

"He was forced to get married to a woman and now he has five children. Though he still acts a bit feminine, his appearance is that of a man.

"There are still some people who can't be changed. We can tolerate that. We can still live together in the same community. It's not like we force them to leave for another area. The only thing that they have to do is not dress like a woman when they are not."

A PROUD SON

With a traditional male appearance, few would ever think that Tus was born a female. Short hair, a deeper voice than most women and a masculine manner make up her identity. Some of her lesbian peers hide in the closet for religious and cultural reasons, but Tus aims to set an example for gender diversity.

Before Tus was born, the doctor told her father his wife was expecting a boy. So it was a surprise when the nurse informed him his wife had given birth to a girl.

All the baby clothes, toys and accessories Tus' parents had bought were in the expectation of raising a boy. So they decided to treat and raise her as one.

While growing up, Tus developed traditional male personality traits and characteristics. She kept her hair short and wore men's clothes -- even at school. Neighbours started to gossip about her, with one warning that "Allah wouldn't be happy about this sin".

"I went to that neighbour's house and told them to mind their own business," Tus said.

"My family supports me for who I am and that's all that counts."

Though her family and friends understand >> >> her for who she is, Tus continues to face difficulties because of her gender identity. Her job as a social worker, and her activist work, means she interacts with local people daily.

Some men, realising Tus is a woman, refuse to listen or even interact with her -- in part because Muslim men are not allowed to have direct contact with an unmarried woman. Women, too, are sometimes wary of her. Despite this Tus manages to forge ahead with her career.

Tus, 21, is in a live-in relationship with another Muslim woman. Bow, 19, is also accepted by her parents and the couple live their lives openly.

"We are living together and taking care of each other like a married couple," Tus said.

"I still practise my religion strictly and do a lot of community work.

"I understand that the LGBT issue is not part of Allah's teachings but I contribute a lot to my community and do a lot of good deeds to make up for it."

OUT AND PROUD

Pattani may not be an area that springs to mind as one with an active LGBT community. But the city and other provinces in the deep South feature a significant LGBT population like any other part of Thailand.

Muhammadmumin "Min" Muna, a 25-year-old gay man, told Spectrum he was out to his close friends and immediate family since high school. The only thing that stops him from coming out completely is his parents -- they are not happy with his sexuality.

His mother first found out he was gay when Min dressed as a woman during a school event. She told Min that she loved him and didn't want him to go to hell for being gay. Min understood his mother's concerns but told her he can't change who he is.

"My mum may or may not understand me, but I am trying not to reveal my identity as a gay man too much when I am at home to make her happy," Min explained.

Mohamanosae "Moh" Waekaji, another 25-year-old-gay man from Pattani, works as a hairdresser and used to live in Phuket. He said life was more liberal there.

"I could act out if I wanted to," he said.

"I could go to gay bars and drink with my friends. I could even date a man without being judged.

"But I missed home and I wanted to take care of my mum. That's why I chose to come back home to Pattani."

Min and Moh told Spectrum that besides being mocked for being feminine, they never face any serious discrimination. But they lament the lack of gay venues.

"There is no proper meeting place for gay men here," Min said.

"We have only one bar here but it is for all genders. If we want to have fun nearby, we will go to Hat Yai.

"Gay social media is also active and the best place to meet other like-minded people here."

Moh said, "I am out and proud of being gay, but I won't parade for LGBT rights or organise gay pride events here.

"I want local Muslim and non-Muslim people to understand that we are no different from them and we are part of the community."

ONE BIG FAMILY

Somboon "Med Sai" Putphon, a 40-year-old transgender woman, moved to Pattani 12 years ago to work for a wedding studio. Originally from Chumphon, she said she has found an acceptance she never experienced at home.

Local Muslims respect Med Sai for her flower arranging skills, her ability to dress a wedding party and all the finer details of arranging a wedding.

Med Sai said she is stared at when she goes to public venues, such as the market or a convenience store. She understands that a transgender woman is not a usual sight in Pattani.

"Since I moved here, I have never had a bad experience," she said.

"I am well respected by locals."

While Pattani has no support group for the LGBT community there is a general social support group for all residents. Med Sai is viewed as the "mother" for gay and transgender people in the area and the "go to" person for LGBT people with problems.

Tae Tae, a 31-year-old Pattani make-up artist and transgender woman, is well respected in the community. Despite being told that being transgender is against her religion, Tae Tae said she does not cause problems or harm other people. So, she believes, she has nothing to worry about in regards to her religious beliefs.

MORE UNDERSTANDING

Ms Anticha, a lecturer at Prince of Songkla University in Pattani, has undertaken a lot of research on gender diversity in the area.

She told Spectrum that people with diverse sexualities in the deep South faced a lot of pressure, which resulted in isolation and confusion.

She said many families used religion as a tool to force their children to live the way they believed was right. Arranged marriages were very common for both men and women -- especially those who identify as gay or lesbian.

"There are many people who have been forced to leave their home town only because they don't want to be questioned about their sexuality," Ms Anticha said.

"Some come back home every once in a while and some just don't come back at all because they feel too ashamed of who they are.

"The words 'sin' and 'hell' are often used when putting pressure on LGBT people.

"Religious leaders often believe that if they see wrongdoing, it is their duty to warn that person. Otherwise, they are equally sinful.

"If verbal warnings don't work, sometimes hitting and beating LGBT children occurs."

Although it is considered a sinful act to live a different gender than one's birth, it is not seen as the worst sin. Converting to another religion is viewed as far worse.

Ms Anticha is working with residents to bring about a greater understanding of sexuality in the area. She has organised many workshops and group discussions on gender, sexuality and human rights issues, largely attended by heterosexuals.

"Non-LGBT people have to understand diversity," she said. "It surprised me that many Muslim men have no gender concept beyond their own gender. Religious leaders seem to have strong influence here and they are the ones who determine what is right and what is wrong.

"If I can get religious leaders to understand the sexual diversity issue, I can change the way LGBT people are viewed."