The fabrications of fabric

The fabrications of fabric

Now, now, before you get all mad and upset, let me state for the record that I don't mean to pick on the Ministry of Culture. But it's really not my fault because they just make it too damn easy sometimes.

The latest ingenious idea to come from our culture-preserving overlords?

Persuading all Cabinet ministers to only wear clothes made from Thai fabric!

Yes, I know! It's absurd! You must have fallen off your non-Thai-fabric upholstered chair upon hearing such a plan! And even if you aren't shocked, I'm going to keep using exclamation marks to dramatise my point! (#NerdyWriterTactics)

Fine, I admit, who's really surprised that the Ministry of Culture has come up with yet another superficial way to instill their confined views of Thai-ness upon the population?

On the surface, this isn't even the most reactionary thing the ministry has done. No siree, the award for that goes to the ministry's unique ability to get offended by something every 2.5 seconds (see: Saturday Night Live "Rosetta Stone" spoof, Nok Air "racy" calendar controversy, Lady Gaga "fake Rolex" tweet).

But again, this Thai-fabric-only plan is another short-term, kneejerk idea that's unfounded in any substance.

In a report in The Nation earlier this week, Culture Minister Sonthaya Khunploem said "the measure would conserve energy, preserve Thai culture and promote the local textile industry." The ministry will also start a campaign to urge the public to wear Thai fabrics.

The only thing I agree with in that statement is the need to promote the local textile industry. Obviously we should help those whose livelihoods depend on garment manufacturing. Thai fabric pride, ya'll!

But is forcing everyone to wear outfits exclusively crafted from Thai fabric the best way to foster the textile industry? That's like obliging people to eat pla ra with every meal to help those who have to deal with the yucky process of producing the fermented fish sauce. And if that's the logic that's being applied, then I command you all to read each word in Guru every week because we spend so much time working on it (well, after we're done procrastinating).

Shouldn't grown adults, especially those who managed to make it to the level of Cabinet minister, be allowed to decide what they want to wear? And let's say if a Cabinet member really, really, really wants to wear a pha khao ma loincloth to a meeting one day, wouldn't he choose one based on the quality of the product? Man, the Ministry of Culture really makes me feel like a five-year-old sometimes for having to state the obvious.

In light of the Energy Minister's recent warning that Thailand could experience a power supply crisis in April, the government has also been scrambling to get the public to do things to reduce their energy consumption. So the other rationale for the Culture Minister's plan that wearing Thai fabrics will "conserve energy" makes total sense.

Oh wait. No. No it doesn't.

How do you get from, "Hey, you know how there's all this talk of global warming? And now we might face a natural gas shortage? I think you know where I'm going with this... Thai fabrics! Thai fabrics!"

Sure, certain garments may be better suited for our tropical climate, but is there a top-secret government organisation somewhere that's scientifically testing the link between Thai textiles and the scorching sun? Because unless they can prove that wearing local material will make armpit sweat stains less noticeable, perhaps the only way to really conserve energy is by implementing designated nude days.

While the ministry's plan does have some good intentions, they don't seem to be helping their narrow-minded reputation when they put forth something that seems to have been picked out of a bamboo hat labelled, "Random Ways to Preserve Thai Culture".

Perhaps next time they have a "grand" idea, they should first remove the blindfold that seems to be shielding their eyes from the realities of today's world. But maybe they don't want to take the blindfold off because it's fashioned from Thai fabric?G

Sumati Sivasiamphai

Former Guru Editor

Our Guru section former editor. She has writen numerous features the metro lifestyle section.

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