What happened to 13-year-old Nong Kaem on the Surat Thani-Bangkok night train was every mother’s worst nightmare.
In a country where rape occurs every 15 minutes, all of us mothers know we must take special precautions to protect our daughters. We tell our girls not to talk to strangers, not to walk down dark streets alone — and a million more things which arise from our constant worries. If our daughter is a minor, we make sure there is a trustworthy adult taking care of her if we cannot be there ourselves.
That was what Nong Kaem’s mother did. The lively teenager was with her elder sister, her male friend, and her 10-year-old sister when they happily took a night train back home. A train ride is always an adventure for kids, but not when train personnel — all male and all allowed to come in and out of carriages freely at all times — can work drunk.
I can imagine the shock of her elder sister when she found Nong Kaem was missing as dawn came and the train neared Bangkok. I can also imagine her mother’s devastation when no one could find the girl on the train.
The whole nation followed the search for the missing girl, hoping for a happy ending. When her body was found in a bush in Pranburi, thrown out by the train worker, the alleged rapist, to hide his crime, the mother collapsed with shock and grief. And we cried with her.
Like other mothers who followed the news, I was shaken and deeply scared for our own girls. For no matter what we do, it seems we still cannot protect our girls from sexual predators out there.
And I seriously doubt if the angry calls for the death penalty as the only punishment for child rapists and rapists/murderers will make our society any safer.
These calls stem from the belief that this heinous crime was possible because the punishment is not heavy enough. This is not new. We hear such calls every time a shocking rape or murder happens.
In fact, the law has been amended to increase jail terms for rapists and broaden its scope to cover marital rape as well as sexual assaults against all genders.
At present, sex with children under 15 — it doesn’t matter if it is consensual or not — is considered rape. The jail term is four to 20 years with a fine between 8,000-40,000 baht.
If the children are under 13, the jail term is seven to 20 years and the fine is 14,000-40,000 baht. If the rapists also hurt these young victims or kill them, the punishment is the death penalty and life imprisonment.
Still, our society is still full of sexual predators and the degree of sexual violence has become even more appalling. Why is that?
According to Supensri Puengkhokesoong, of the Women and Men Progressive Movement Foundation, there were 31,866 rape cases last year — that is 87 cases per day on average, or one victim every 15 minutes. Yet, the veteran rights activist does not believe that harsher laws are the answer.
“First, we must understand the majority of rapists are not strangers. They are people who the victims know, even trust.
“Second, ours is a male-dominated society which condones sexual violence and rape. The police do not take it seriously. They even blame women for ‘asking for it’. With such attitudes, people with power can easily buy themselves out of the crime.”
Meanwhile, the victims face social stigma and legal hurdles in pursuing justice. Each court case takes 10 years to finish.
When the judicial procedures are not sympathetic to rape victims, it means 10 more years of torment. Many victims call it repeated rape. It is why many opt out and stay silent.
“The harsh laws are effective with poor criminals who do not have money and connections to help them,” said Ms Supensri.
Instead of being fixated on the law which only catches a handful of rapists — and mostly when it makes newspaper headlines — the short-term answer is to force the government to make cities and public transport safer for women and girls.
“In the Nong Kaem case, the State Railway of Thailand cannot escape the blame. This is not the first time a passenger has been raped by drunken train workers,” she said. ”Someone must take responsibility.”
The long-term answer is confronting and changing our “rape culture” which condones sexual violence.
“Ours is a society that sees women as sex objects and easy targets for men to vent their anger and power.”
As long as this rape culture is unquestioned, we mothers know that our daughters will never be safe.
Sanitsuda Ekachai is editorial pages editor, Bangkok Post.