I just love Thai politicians for their tendency to be anything but dull. When you wake up to a gloomy, overcast morning and a grumpy kid who's running late for school, what's even better at perking you up than a double espresso? A video clip of a rapping politician and his dancing subordinates!
I have no idea what they get up to during those cabinet meetings. But I'm inclined to suspect that ministerial meets are heavy with hot air rather than hot ideas.
A documentary about Queen Elizabeth II's Diamond Jubilee that recently aired on cable TV here showed footage of a special cabinet session in London to which Queen Elizabeth was invited; it was apparently the first time a British monarch had sat in on such a meeting in more than 200 years. Interviewed afterwards, one of those in attendance said it had been quite a successful exercise, quipping that he'd never seen his colleagues being so well behaved and that if Queen Elizabeth were to attend cabinet meetings more often, her ministers might get a lot more work done.
Well, at least they didn't come up with a music video like the one our Deputy Commerce Minister, Natthawut Saikua, has just produced to mark the second month of a campaign to promote his "Show Suay" grocery stores, a term he coined to replace the original "Show Huay" _ slang for a small corner store.
You have to hand it to the man, though... he wrote the lyrics all by himself, and he also sang and danced throughout the video which was posted on YouTube by a person going by the unlikely name of "Mhd. Azizi Bin Wanruslan". Within the space of four days, it had received more than 50,600 views, as well as 1,560 "dislikes" and about 160 "likes".
The "dislikes" and the nasty comments which accompanied them probably deflated Natthawut's ego to some extent, but the final straw came when luk thung music enthusiast Jenphop Jobkrabuanwan, founder of the luk thung museum, posted on his Facebook page that he wanted to know _ without going into details _ whether Natthawut had followed the proper procedures in requesting the use of the melody and whether he had paid the appropriate fee for music royalties. He reminded everyone that the Department of Intellectual Property is in fact a unit within the Ministry of Commerce, so it should definitely be setting a good example in this regard.
Comments on the same Facebook page referred to the similarities between Show Suay and the '70s hit song Black Superman by Johnny Wakelin and The Kinshasa Band. Then, before you could say "Show me the Show Suay", the YouTube clip had been removed.
I will concede that Natthawut is a mite better looking than Korean pop sensation Psy, but he has a long way to go before Show Suay can match Gangnam Style for punchy tune and rhythm, not to mention catchy dance steps. And those poor back-up dancers _ said to be actual Show Huay owners plus several officials from the Ministry of Commerce _ were totally out of their element. They looked uneasy bopping along to the music, totally out of sync, and probably wishing they were harvesting corn on Hay Day or sitting at their desks flipping through dead files. The zombies in Walking Dead had more natural rhythm than these dancers demonstrated. But then, if your deputy minister orders you to sing, you sing; and if he orders you to dance, you'd better get that rhythm going, no matter how many left feet you have. No such thing as saying to the boss: "Er, I think we would all look like absolute fools. Let's have a show of hands. Anyone in favour of ditching this bright idea, say 'Aye'."
And I thought this was a democracy.
Perhaps Natthawut's superior, Boonsong Teriyapirom, has been a bit preoccupied of late trying to save his own neck. The poor guy certainly has a lot on his plate. He's probably been so busy conjuring up rice-deal figures for the prime minister that he hasn't had time to assign some proper tasks for his deputy to handle. So the second-month anniversary of the Show Suay project was as good an occasion as any for Natthawut to blow his horn and prove that he's a capable pair of hands at the Commerce Ministry helm.
Or perhaps he was just missing the limelight, getting all nostalgic for his glory days on the red shirt stage.
Whenever I visualise the pathetic attempts of those Commerce Ministry officials to please their boss, it's all I can do to suppress the urge to break into hysterical laughter. But I shudder to think that my tax money is keeping the likes of Natthawut in public office.
And I weep for the future of Thailand.
Usnisa Sukhsvasti is the features editor of the Bangkok Post.