While the overseas media are pointing their fingers at the void of democracy in Thailand at the moment, they are seemingly unaware of a particular species of Thai people to whom democracy has never been part of their vocabulary.
There is a newly-discovered species of Thais who have actually been around since dinosaurs roamed the Golden Peninsula, but have so far been overlooked.
They are called Manus Pa, literally “Auntie Man”.
Manus Pa is in the same vein as Manus Neanderthal (Neanderthal Man) or Manus Yuk Hin (Cave Man). Despite the name however, Auntie Man is actually a gender oxymoron, so I have taken the liberty of coining my own terminology, and calling them the “Dreaded Auntie Species”, or DAS.
Age-wise, I am, by default, included in the DAS, so I had to check out the definition of DAS to see whether I really qualify.
From various sources on the internet, I can conclude that the DAS has the following characteristics:
- The DAS is always right, the DAS is above everything else, the DAS never loses, the DAS never dies.
- The DAS is not concerned with what other people think; the DAS just does what he/she wants to do.
- The DAS does not queue up.
- The DAS loves giveaways, discounts or other special privileges, particularly in supermarkets, and demands her right to those freebies, discounts and privileges, no matter what the criteria, and she will make this known in his/her loudest voice.
- The DAS are above rules and regulations, because they are older and everyone has to defer to them. Age is his/her formidable weapon.
- The DAS has her own interest at heart. No one else matters.
- The DAS does not allow anyone to take advantage of her at any cost. If they do, she complains at the top of her voice. But when he has the upper hand, she pretends not to notice anything amiss.
- The DAS has beady eyes and a tight-set mouth that she is not afraid to shoot off whenever the need arises.
- The DAS is the ultimate form of dictatorship, with no regard for fair play or democracy.
DAS stories abound on social media, written by people who have had first-hand experience with the DAS and come out with a sense of bewilderment and disbelief. They exchange horror stories and seek sympathy and solutions. The sympathy is there, but the solutions are not forthcoming.
A successful way to handle the DAS has yet to be discovered.
Here is one such story from a popular chat room. A young lady was waiting in the queue in the ladies’ room of a modern shopping centre. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, came a stocky DAS, with a black blouse over tight pink trousers. She was talking on her mobile phone at the top of her voice, and without batting an eyelid, she walked past the queue and stood in the middle of the aisle between the stalls, leaving everyone in the queue aghast.
Our young lady was prepared to put her foot down and defend her rights against the DAS. As soon as a door opened, she moved quickly to get to the stall. Despite being on the phone, the DAS moved even faster and got there first.
Our young lady wasn’t going to let the DAS get away with it, and put her hands on the door, saying, “Excuse me, but didn’t you see the queue?”
“What queue?” retorted the DAS. “They are all just waiting for their friends! If they’re waiting for the toilet, they should be standing in front of the stalls, not way over there. If they want to be stupid, that’s their problem. [Then back to her phone] Oh nothing, dearie, just some stupid people who won’t stand in front of the toilet when they want to use it. Don’t know what their brains are made of. Don’t pay any attention!”
In another instance, a similar looking DAS (perhaps her twin) was at a supermarket perusing the discount fresh meat and vegetable products. After pinching and prodding every single package, she shuffled off with her choice to the checkout counter, leaving indented finger marks on the discarded products in her wake.
Anyway, if you see a DAS pinching the mangoes next time you go to the supermarket, perhaps you could offer to help.
My eyes aren’t very good.
Usnisa Sukhsvasti is the features editor of the Bangkok Post.