What's the riskiest thing you've ever done at the office? Stealing your boss's hair from his/her desk to use in a voodoo doll? Taking a secret nap in the meeting room? Coming to work unwashed after partying all night? Or just generally slacking off? We have all done a thing or two that management would frown upon (if they came to know of it). And you should be careful because, unlike esteemed MPs and high-ranking officials, Somchais and Somyings get fired every day for their mistakes and sometimes for causes you can't imagine. We've selected five cases of extraordinary sackings which, in hindsight, reveal tips to help you keep your job or at least give you some ideas to go out with a bang.
Don’t cha wish you were on the other side of the goal?
BOOBIES BLUNDER
Cause of termination: Screening a pornographic movie to an unsuspecting crowd.
The former employee: An unnamed staff member from a firm contracted to oversee the video system at Don Mueang airport was fired for screening X-rated material for 20 seconds on a dozen screens at the airport. Greeting arriving passengers with the sight of giant breasts is a pretty effective way to leave a long-lasting impression, if you ask us.
Our dad, the Bangkok Post, reported in August 1999 that the boobie blunder took place during a commercial break in the 20th SEA Games soccer match between Thailand and Vietnam.
This incident, of course, caused the authorities to become irate. Pradit Phatraprasit, the then supervisor of the Airports Authority of Thailand, said the mistake seriously damaged the national image (why must we always link female nudity with our national image?) and that then prime minister Chuan Leekpai had expressed concern. Not only did the man lose his job but the firm he worked for also lost its contract with AOT.
On a positive note, the man probably made many people happy and gave them a cool story to tell their grandkids later. Thai people who witnessed the porn blunder should have felt extra happy since Thailand later beat Vietnam in the final SEA Games soccer match, so it was win-win.
To future employees of the month: There's nothing wrong with liking porno so long as you don't subject it to unsuspecting international visitors at a national airport. We suggest red-blooded salarymen should Google photos of cute hamsters on their smartphones to calm their libido. If stiffness persists, see a shrink ASAP.
To those who don't give an eff: Why settle for porn? Openly flirt with colleagues you fancy in the hope of getting lucky.
A prime example of friendly Thai-Cambodian relations
MAYHEM MAKER
Cause of termination: Unintentionally causing a riot.
The former employees: In July 2011, two Thai workers got into a fight with a group of Cambodian co-workers at a chicken factory in Chon Buri. It unexpectedly snowballed into a riot.
According to news programme Rueng Lao Chao Nee, as the two Thai men walked pass a group of drunken Cambodian co-workers, they heard the Cambodian words for monitor lizard and penis being directed at them. The men were born in Buri Ram, which borders Cambodia, so they knew enough Cambodian to understand the insult.
Instead of being jai yen yen and paying them no heed, they walked up to the drunken men and asked who the heck had called them names. A melee ensued, of course.
However, what could have been just another scuffle turned into a full-scale riot when the local police showed up to arrest the Thai men. The Cambodian workers took it as the police coming to rescue them.
They demanded the authorities bring the Thai men to them so they could punish them themselves. About 700 Cambodian workers threw stones, vandalised offices, turned over four police pick-up trucks and threatened to burn the factory down.
Fortunately, things didn't escalate further after the police managed to arrest the riot leaders. The two Thai men were charged with battery while 15 Cambodian workers who led the riot were liable for resisting arrest and destroying public properties. They were all axed by the factory.
To future employees of the month: In a multinational workplace, you should be sensitive about the different cultures and backgrounds of people you work with. Westerners may find the F-word rude. They may also know enough Thai to know you're gossiping about them.
To those who don't give an eff: There's nothing quite as exhilarating as punching your office enemy in the mouth. The fine for assault is only B500, after all.
You can have a scary/exciting ride for a price so cheap
BUS FROM HELL
Cause of termination: Attacking your customer over a few baht you stand to lose.
The former employees: In October 2008, Thai Rath reported a couple who worked on a public bus attacked a passenger who had paid only half the normal fare too many times. Pijitra Silapasart worked as a ticket collector on BMTA-affiliated bus #123 while her husband Ananta worked as the driver. Their victim was a man named Thawat Chansuk, then 68.
To be clear, Thawat wasn't a cheapo who asked Pijitra if she could give him a discount on the B10 ticket. Thawat is a retired civil servant who is lawfully entitled to a discount. He had cost them a few baht in income every time he invoked his right to the discount and the couple had three young sons so we guess every satang counted.
On Oct 11, Pijitra got into a fight with Thawat (probably after having had too many energy drinks). She loudly called him names in front of other passengers after Thawat tried to explain that, as a retired civil servant, he was entitled to pay B5 instead of the regular fare of B10.
Ananta stopped the bus, not to tell his wife to calm down over the measly amount of money, but to push Thawat off the bus. Thawat tried to escape but wasn't quick enough because Pijitra kicked him in the head as he got off.
Thawat reported them to the police. The couple admitted to their wrongdoings, were fined B500 and became blacklisted, not being able to work on public transport ever again.
To future employees of the month: When you deal with customers who are ready to wave discount vouchers in your face, you should smile and feel grateful that someone actually wants to buy something that ultimately pays for your job.
To those who don't give an eff: If you have this type of anger management issue, we suggest a change in career path to Muay Thai boxer.
What’s your colour?
I DON'T GIVE A FROC
Cause of termination: Criticising the Thai government's Flood Relief Operations Command (Froc).
The former employee: Teemah Kanjanapairin, better known as DJ Judge, is known for not only playing songs by request but also making political remarks at his own requests.
During the flood crisis last year, his public disapproval of Froc began after the agency requested three time slots for their daily announcements. One of the time slots coincided with his show. One day, Froc decided not to make an announcement but apparently didn't inform the station. Judge asked on air why they decided not to make the announcement when they had said they would. For this, Judge was suspended for one week.
Before this, he caused some controversy by playing a song sung by former PM Samak Sundaravej after he died. The song was about how we can't take any prestige or wealth we accumulate with us into the afterlife.
Judge went on to create a YouTube show where he heavily criticised Froc. For example, he voiced his disapproval against the government's decision to appoint Pol Gen Pracha Promnok as the agency director saying the man has zero knowledge about water management. He went on to say that Froc read from a script but still didn't make any sense. He added that the map that Froc was using was of poor quality and wasn't helping people understand the flood situation. Judge concluded that the Froc operation was "old and stupid".
After the clip went viral, Judge was suspended again before being informed that he had lost his job for running his mouth against the authorities. He accepted the radio station's decision but he feels a person who works in media or show biz shouldn't shy away from making political comments.
Judge continues to host his political show on YouTube. In his latest episode, he "secretly" taped his visit to the Four Seasons Hotel while he investigated Yingluck's "meeting with businessmen" there.
To future employees of the month: If you want to harshly criticise a country's leader or authorities, it's safer to put it out there anonymously. Don't you know the powers that be can do no wrong? That's why Chalerm threatened to sue the media over his alleged drunkenness in Parliament.
To those who don't give an eff: Make your political stand known by wearing red, yellow or multiple colours to work. Wait by the water cooler to strike up heated political conversation with colleagues who hold opposing views. Put up a chart to show who identifies with what political colour to stir things up.
Mirror, mirror in my hand, who is the fairest in the land?
TIARA TANTRUM
Cause of termination: Throwing a tantrum which was caught on video.
The former employee: Saranrut "Nut" Chaiyakorn lost her job at Tiffany after she lost it at a local pageant in Buri Ram held in January. Nut, who had partaken in beauty pageants professionally for five years, believed that the local pageant was rigged, which caused her to lose her cool.
The winner of two Tiffany runner-up titles said there were many signs of irregularity. First, she said other contestants handed in their applications after the deadline but were allowed to continue. Second, she believed other contestants didn't perform as well as she did in answering questions and showing special skills. Lastly, out of the five finalists, she was the only one who wasn't wearing the fair sponsors' sashes.
When the time came for the winner to be crowned, Nut, trying to be a good sport, wanted to present the crown to her. However, when the winner refused to be crowned by her, it put her over the edge. Nut took the crown away, obviously became angry, and was escorted from the stage. She went on to launch an angry tirade while fairgoers looked on. After the video of her tantrum circulated, Tiffany Pattaya asked her to leave and give up her Tiffany titles. She agreed to it because she wanted to make a point that what she did was unbecoming of a beauty queen.
Nut said she took this mistake as a lesson and would continue to partake in beauty pageants. Last heard, she was playing a real woman in a feature movie.
To future employees of the month: When you feel like you're gonna lose it because you're passed over for a promotion you deserve or any other injustice, look at people who are less fortunate than you so you can appreciate that you have a job. Also, in this day and age of citizen journalism, any inappropriate conduct may come back to haunt you with the amount of recording devices around.
To those who don't give an eff: In normal circumstances, throwing a tantrum at work is a definite no-no. However, if you can't take another blue Monday with your horrible boss, go berserk. You would always be remembered as the office hero, if nothing else.
