An ambulance bomb attack erupting in front of a pub beside the packed 80-room Southern View Hotel in Muang district of Pattani almost a decade ago has remained in the memory of Saibua Kaewmanee.
The attack killed one and injured 33 others including Ms Saibua, now 41. It took place on the night of Aug 23, 2016.
The attack was one of three bomb attacks in Pattani that night. The other two blasts occurred inside a toilet at a pub beside the same hotel and in a rubbish bin at a market in tambon Bo Thong of Nong Chik district.
The attack followed a wave of bombings and arson in six southern and one adjacent central province earlier that month, when four people were killed and 35 others wounded.
Ms Saibua recalls that when the bomb went off, she was having dinner at a shop in front of the hotel after returning from Malaysia.
She said the blast sent shockwaves through her body, causing severe injury to her internal organs.
She suffered a cut throat, was hit by shrapnel all over her body and suffered serious burns to her body.
One bit of shrapnel pierced her abdomen causing internal haemorrhaging and perforation.
She said it left her stricken on the ground with blood streaming from her throat and belly until she was rushed to nearby Pattani Hospital by ambulance.
"I would have died if I had arrived at the hospital any later,'' she lamented on the sidelines of a recent forum that brought Buddhist victims, peace advocates, human rights defenders and reporters together to share their perspectives and insights on peace building for the deep South.
Ms Saibua was in hospital for a month after the attack but says she had not fully recovered until now.
"I have never forgotten what happened. Every night I have been praying for peace in the area. I hope nothing like it will happen again to anyone,'' she said.
As the mother of three children, Ms Saibua, then 32, said despite the fact that she was in so much pain immediately after, she told herself that she could not die, and she would do whatever she had to do to survive to see her children's faces again.
As a victim of violence in three southernmost border provinces of Yala, Pattani and Narathiwat, Ms Saibua received 700,000 baht compensation from the Southern Border Provinces Administrative Centre and the Ministry of Social Development and Human Security.
She said it was still insufficient for her to pay for medical expenses that were not included in the 30-baht universal scheme.
She said the money which has almost run out has also covered household spending for almost a decade.
"I have been unemployed for years because of health problems. Moreover, I have been suffering from the trauma of the event.
"I still have difficulty regulating my emotions. I have a fear of crowds. I am still afraid I might have a panic attack in public. That's why I still see a psychiatrist,'' she said.
Ms Saibua also made a plea for assistance for the government not to stop helping all victims of violence in the deep South both financially and with schemes to provide employment.
"I am one of those who is still badly affected by these violent attacks. Many Buddhists have moved out of the area because they do not want to be the next victims.
"Many opt to live here because the three southernmost border provinces are their birthplaces, and where there should be nothing to fear,'' she said, adding the state must only bring those people involved in committing a number of violent attacks to justice for the sake of peace and security.
When asked about the role of former prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra could take in solving the southern problems as an adviser to Malaysian prime minister Anwar Ibrahim, Ms Saibua added that she and other people in the deep South would be very happy if his mission was successful.
However, nobody should forget that violence has been endemic in the region for decades. "Or will he ( Thaksin) be a magic pill for us?'' she asked.
Another Buddhist victim, Thanawut Chuwaen, 23, who lives in Nong Chik district, said his father and mother had been killed during another such attack when he was just 7 years old.
After their death, his grandmother had stepped in to help take care of him and his two siblings while they grew up.
"I really don't want to see more casualties resulting from violence in the area. I want all stakeholders in the country to help put an end to the situation, returning peace and safety to my homeland,'' he said.
Between January 2004 and January 2025, there were 22,962 security incidents recorded by Deep South Watch, resulting in 7,683 deaths and 14,415 injuries.
